


Auto-Pilot

by Alexander_Slamilton



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: He was stabbed in the spine with a lightsaber I mean come on, I love my smol gay sons, I wrote this quickly though, Leia is just trying to do her job goddamn it finn, M/M, Tooth Rotting Fluff, Torture, angsty and fluffy all at the same time!!!, but there, not graphic, post torture, smol space sons, so trigger warning, wheelchair! Finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6609766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexander_Slamilton/pseuds/Alexander_Slamilton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn is awake, but he's in a wheel chair, so when Poe goes missing there isn't much he can do but wait for his friend to come home. What will the waiting do to his feelings for his friend?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Auto-Pilot

“Finn, he’s missing. There’s nothing we can do. His - his x-wing was found but there was no body, Finn? Are you listening?” He wasn’t. His head was spinning, reeling from the words. He couldn't see. He couldn't breath, panic was swimming over his head like cold water, blurring his vision. “Finn?” 

 

“I’m fine,” he took a breath,“when do we leave?” 

 

“What?”

 

“To find him. When do we leave?” 

 

“Finn, we can’t, we looked around a fifty meter perimeter surrounding the crash site, but there was nothing there. Just some tracks. StormTrooper tracks.”

 

“He’s been taken by the First Order?”

 

“Uh, we think so.”

 

“Shit. I can get him back. We need him, let me see General Organa.”

 

“You won’t get leave, she won’t let you go, you’re too important.” 

 

“ _Please,_ I need to find him,” he begged, eyes watering again, Poe was his rock, the thing that kept him sane.

 

“Finn, you’re in a wheelchair, there’s no way you can go. I’m sorry,” Lieutenant Benn, touched a hand to his shoulder and left the room.

 

“Just ‘cause I can’t walk doesn’t mean I can’t do anything,” Finn shot back, he wheeled his chair out of his quarters, “I need to see General Organa, please, its urgent.” 

 

The secretary behind the desk looked up sharply. “She isn’t seeing anyone right now, you’ll have to come back another time,”

 

“Look, its about Poe Dameron, I _really_ need to see her.” 

 

Maybe it was the way his voice sounded brittle and hollow, like it would break at any second that made the girl nod and say “I’ll see what I can do.” She disappeared inside the office.

 

Finn waited outside the office for an awkward five minutes, watching the seconds on the holo tick by, as though it was counting down the seconds Poe had to live. He looked inside himself and couldn't _feel_ whether Poe was alive or not, he usually could feel something. 

 

“General Organa will see you,” she smiled, gesturing inside the office. 

 

“Thank you,” he stole a glance at the badge on her jacket, “Lydia, I owe you.” Finn took a deep breath and wheeled himself inside. 

 

The office was small, dingy like most of the base, there was a tiny barred window high up on one side. A desk took up most of the space, on the top was an ancient comm unit, that had one side of it taken off in some half arsed repair job. There was a mug of caff next to the comm, though it looked as though it had gone cold half drunk. General Organa was standing behind the desk, flipping through a datapad, she looked up as he wheeled himself through the door. He hit the edges of the door on his way in.

 

“Shit, I mean, sorry… I’m still not used to the chair. General Organa, Poe’s missing and we need to find him,” he said.

 

“Finn, we’re doing everything we can, but one missing pilot-“

 

“Poe isn’t just a missing pilot. He’s the best damn pilot this rebellion has, you know it.”

 

“I do. You mustn’t let emotion cloud your judgement on this, he wouldn't want to risk your life. The best thing you can do is keep going, you’re doing the rebellion a great service,” she smiled, but Finn could see it didn't reach her eyes. 

 

“Everything I do is nothing compared to what he can do. Just because I’m like this doesn’t mean that-“

 

“That what? You’d go out into the field? Finn, there are things that you just can not do, I’m sorry. I couldn't sanction a mission that would more likely than not end in more deaths than anything else.”  
  
“You think he’s dead?”

 

“His ship crashed in enemy territory, Finn.”

 

“Please,” he begged, he needed to have Poe with him. His voice was brittle as though a strong wind could blow it down.

 

“I’m sorry,” Organa shook her head, Finn could swear he saw her eyes tearing up. 

 

He wheeled himself out of the office, the small room seeming to stifle him. His breaths were coming fast, pressure closing in on him on all sides. The chair seemed more restrictive than ever before, he’d been determined not to let it stop him from doing everything he could to help the rebellion, but now it looked like it would be impossible to ever help in the way he wanted to. It had been six months since he’d woken up from having a lightsaber lodged in his spine. Six months since he’d had his whole world turned upon it’s head. Physiotherapy was going well, he could walk short distances and the doctors were fairly sure he’d make a good if not full recovery. 

 

The area just outside the base, a short distance from the deck where the x-wing pilots stored their planes, was grassy. The sunlight fell on it just so, in the early evening, and the light turned golden giving it a magical quality. It was one of Poe’s favourite haunts; he could often be found sitting out there, drawing in his sketch book, or watching as the stars and systems became visible as the four suns disappeared behind the horizon for their journey across the other side of the planet. Finn had found him up on the small hillock the day before he’d vanished. He had been talking in a low, soft voice to BB-8 who’d beeped something back at him; he’d stopped speaking as Finn had become visible from the other side of the rise. They hadn’t spoken much that night, just sat together in companionable silence, Poe scribbling sketches in his book as Finn marvelled at the enormity of creation above him. 

 

He sat there now, trying to ignore the waves of memory that threatened to drown him, lapping dangerously at the edges of his consciousness. His arms were locked around his knees, his head titled upward, enjoying the last vestiges of warmth the quadruplet suns provided. 

 

“Where are you?” His eyes searched the sky in vain. 

 

 

***

 

_Two Months Later._

 

“We found him, they left him there, in the base. We think they wanted us to find him,” the officer said, leading General Organa, and Finn to the medical bay.

 

“How is he? Is he alive?” General Organa said, looking more worse for wear.

 

“He’s alive, they didn’t do anything awful to him as far as we can tell. He’s very skinny, they didn't feed him much and it’ll be a while before he’s back at work, but he’s alive.”

 

“Thank the Force,” General Organa breathed a sigh of relief and all the tension drained out of her shoulders. 

 

“Poe,” Finn whispered as he caught sight of the pilot from behind the two way mirror.

 

“They aren’t allowing anyone in to the room, not until he’s had a psyche eval anyway,” the officer gestured to the room absently, “the last time we let people into a room with a hostage victim three of his friends ended up in the medbay themselves.”

 

“When will I be able to talk to him?”

 

“They’re getting someone from psyche down now, it won’t take long once they wake him up.”

 

Poe was as sleep, breathing shallowly, his chest moved up and down incredibly fast. He was thin, very thin; his collar bone was clearly visible as were his ribs underneath the hospital gown. His skin was paler than it had been and it looked like it was looser, almost saggy. 

 

“He’s in stage two of starvation as far as we can tell, his body hasn’t quite started to shut down completely just yet. We’ll wake him when psyche get here,” a healer walked in and joined them, talking mainly to General Organa.

 

They waited in the small side room, Finn could have been alone for all he cared about anyone else in there. He almost pressed himself against the glass, willing his body to pass through it. He had no idea why he felt so strongly about Poe, maybe it was guilt that while he knew he didn’t owe the other man anything, he was sitting healthy (for the most part) and Poe was lying half dead in a hospital bed. All he knew was that Poe was his best friend, one of his only ones on the base since Rey had left, he just wanted to hear his voice. The minutes seemed to drag into days while they stood there, in silence. 

 

“Hi, I’m Healer Benn, from psyche,” the man was small, really small, he barely made it to Finn’s shoulder; he had long shaggy brown hair and kind blue eyes. 

 

“The patient is in there, we’ll wake him up and you can get started.” 

 

“Thank you, Healer Ta’Na, if you wouldn't mind.” 

 

The side room emptied apart from the General and Finn. Leia sighed and sat on the small bench that lined the back wall.

 

“Finn, I know you care about him a lot, but you have to realise that if his mind is damaged severely we will not be able to allow him to go on fighting. It takes a lot more to heal a broken mind than it does a broken body. We’ll have to find him somewhere he can go, on one of the free worlds. If we had the Jedi, things may have been different but-“

 

“So you’re just gonna give up on him?”

“We don’t have the resources to care for someone long term-“

 

“Fine, but I’m going with him, if he goes, I go,” it wasn't up for discussion, Finn folded his arms an turned back to watching Poe as he slowly cam round from the medic induced sleep. 

 

 

Brown eyes opened slowly, lights reflecting off them like stars, he blinked, once, twice and smiled. His head fell back on to the pillow and he grinned at the ceiling. Poe’s entire body relaxed visibly on the bed as he realised where he was, he seemed to melt into the mattress and his breathing came more evenly. 

 

“Major Dameron, you’re back on D’qar. We found you in an abandoned First Order facility after your x-wing crashed two months ago. Can you tell us anything about what happened?” Benn said.

 

“There was laze fire, it was a nasty crash, I was knocked out cold. When I woke up I was restrained on some sort of torture table. I kept waiting for someone to come, but no one did. They just left me there. It was dark. I was alone,” Poe shrunk even more, if it was possible, he looked about half his normal size. His brown eyes were full of terror at horrors unknown. 

 

“They left you?” Benn turned to the mirror with a look of shock on his face.

 

“Yeah. I didn't see or speak to anyone until the squadron found me.” Poe, Finn could tell (though he didn't know _how_ ) was on auto-pilot. Emotionless words came from his mouth, describing in detail what he saw, felt, and thought during his two months in complete isolation. The thing that made Finn worried was how dead his friend sounded. He could tell that Poe had shut down, that this was how he’d coped through the months he’s been alone. “I saw things- sometimes- I saw lights and turned around and saw nothing there. You said I was there for two months?”

 

“Yes,” Healer Benn nodded.

 

“It felt like I was there for less than two weeks. I lost track of time, things slowed down so much, all I could focus on was how hungry I was.”

 

“You were hooked on to an IV that fed you water and a small amount of glucose. That stopped you from dying of starvation.”

 

“Right,” Poe took a deep breath and turned over.

 

Benn stood and left the room, the door closing quietly behind him. 

 

“He’s not well, I mean like he seems to be in a state of denial, it’ll take a while for me to come up with a treatment plan. I don’t think he’s dangerous though, it might help to have someone familiar to talk to, don’t overwhelm him though,” Benn said, poking his head into the side room.

 

Finn looked up and then round at Leia, who smiled a small smile and nodded at him. He wheeled himself to the room where his best friend was. He’d waited two months for this moment. His emotions welled up inside him, like a tidal wave. He didn't know what they all meant in that moment, all he knew was that he desperately needed to see Poe. 

 

“Finn,” the word was breathed, a whisper between lips barely open. 

 

“Hey, buddy,” Finn grinned at his friend, his eyes slightly watery and his smile wide enough to hurt, “I guess it’s my turn to sit by your hospital bed.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Poe’s voice was hoarse and crackly from disuse; he coughed, trying to get the words out and his hands scrabbled at the bedside table looking for a water jug.

 

“Here, man,” Finn handed him a bottle. 

 

“Finn, I thought- I thought I was gonna die there. I didn’t want to die.”

 

 

 

***

 

_A year later._

 

“Poe!” 

 

“Finn! You’re running!” Poe rushed into the room, he gathered Finn into his arms.

 

“I’ve been practicing,” Finn smiled and blushed, looking down and burying his head into Poe’s shoulder. He left the ‘for you’ silent, hoping his friend would understand without him needing to say it.

 

“You’re amazing, you know that? I’ve gotta go to debrief but, you wanna meet in our place after?”

 

“I’ll be there.”

 

Finn sat on the hillock, remembering a year ago, he’d gone there in the hopes he’d see Poe walking up the hill. It had taken nearly six months for Poe to feel even slightly ready for missions, it had been another three before his friend had actually gone on a real mission. Poe was getting better every day, he was pretty much back to his old self. Finn had stood (or sat) by his side, slowly getting stronger and stronger himself. It had been nearly two years since the lightsaber had almost split his spinal cord and he could walk and sort of run now. 

 

The suns cast their golden rays across the grass, Finn laid back with his arm under his head, looking up at the pale blue sky; he smiled. Warm air caressed his face, and a cool breeze kissed his skin and he felt so at home and so happy, happier than he’d ever been. The sunlight grazed the tops of the trees that lay across the horizon. Birds called through the forest, their tunes mingling in to one cacophony that was not unpleasant. X-wings soared above him, twisting and turning and diving in arcs and spirals that made him feel dizzy. He shifted so he could see the path to the meadow, though he closed his eyes and listened. He heard footsteps, soft crunching on the grass and felt, rather than heard or saw Poe lie next to him. He could feel the pilot’s hazel eyes on him.

 

“I realised something today,” Finn said.

 

“Oh yeah?” Poe’s eyes were fixed, now on the horizon, studying the tops of the trees.

 

“I know why I’ve been so happy lately, and why I was so sad before.”  
  
“Why?” Poe’s head was turned to look at him, properly.

 

“You’re here, I’ve got you back. I need you in my life.”

 

“You do?” Poe’s eyes widened, his mouth fell open.

 

“I really do.”

 

“You’ve got me then.” 

 

Finn turned his head at those words and was just about to reply when Poe leant forward and caught every word he was going to say. He pushed his lips back and welcomed Poe’s tongue into his mouth when it brushed against his lips. Poe’s lips were warm and dry against his, they were slightly chapped from the artificial air in the base. His hand was calloused, but nicely so, against his cheek, Poe’s thumb brushed along his cheek bone. Their noses fit like jigsaw pieces sliding into place. He grinned into the kiss. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, so this is the way I'm getting myself back into writing. This was supposed to be only 500 words but I just had to keep on with it. Please comment on how I can improve and stuff, kudos is also the thing that keeps me writing when I don't want to so please leave that!!!


End file.
